Irrational Anxiety #2
17 Mar 2011 Leave a Comment
I’m terrified of my car and driving my car.
Every time I get in my car, I brace myself for it to explode when I put the key in the ignition. Every teeny-tiny smell that comes from my car makes my heart race because I’m just sure that it’s going to explode soon.
Now, my car is a good car. It’s about 7 years old with only 60,000 miles on it, and I take good care of it. I haven’t had a serious issue with it yet. These facts don’t stop me from being afraid of my vehicle.
I hate going anywhere in my car, and that’s really unfortunate because I have to go to work everyday, I have to run errands everyday, and I have to pick my daughter up from her after-school program everyday. As you can imagine, this is a huge anxiety booster for me because this is something that I can’t avoid, at all. I have to drive…my car.
Not only does my car terrify me, but my driving abilities terrify me as well. I am a great driver, but I imagine these scenarios where I forget to slow down for a stop light and drive right into traffic (this is every time I hit a stoplight), or I will swerve into oncoming traffic, or my hands will do something my brain can’t control and I’ll end up in an accident. The best one is when I see a pedestrian, and I worry that I’ll drive up on the sidewalk and hit them.
I know it’s healthy to be aware of possible scenarios when you are driving. Every driver needs to stay sharp, and not take anything for granted, but this is nuts. I can’t ever enjoy a drive because I have these irrational fears that I am going to lose control and any number of things could happen. I could kill myself, my daughter, or strangers I don’t even know.
It’s normal to have these thoughts occasionally, but I have them every single moment I am in my car. That combined with the fact that I feel like my car will explode makes for a very unfortunate situation.
I hate that part of my life, and it’s such a big one.
