Healthy Body = Healthy Mind

I was writing in my journal last night, and I realized that I am in such a wonderful place in my life right now.  Things are so much better now than they were last year at this time.  I know my old apartment had some bad mojo.  I was so unhappy there.  I hated coming home to that place.

It’s not just the old apartment.  It’s being sober for the first time in years and quitting smoking as well.  I feel like I’m taking control of my body again.  My eating habits are changing drastically.   I finally have a large enough kitchen with all the conveniences to make healthy meals all the time.  Now I am going to pick up an exercise routine.

I’m really excited about changing my routine in the mornings.  It used to be wake up, smoke my morning cig and sit there in a daze until I had to wake the child up and get into the shower.  I would skip breakfast everyday.  Now I plan to wake up early so I can get a Turbo Jam workout in and make a healthy breakfast for me and my daughter.

I need to lose about 40 pounds total, but I need to tone up everywhere too.  I haven’t exercised in years.  I know it can be the best remedy for a clinical depressive though.  Everything I’ve read for people like me who don’t want to rely on medication has said to incorporate an exercise routine into your life.  Feeling good about your body will transfer to your mind.

I want to get a membership to the local aquatic center too because that is something that the family can do together for exercise.  My daughter is a little fish, and my husband misses living near the ocean where he swam everyday.

This is all a huge step in the right direction for me.  A lot of my problems stem from my lack of self-esteem and self-worth.  I haven’t been able to look in the mirror in years and not be disgusted with how I look.  It’s really unhealthy and depressing.  It’s also something I can never change unless I just DO IT.  I alone have the ability to make my body what I want it to be.  I want to be able to accept compliments from my husband.  He tells me all the time how much he loves my body and how beautiful I am, but I scoff at him or roll my eyes because I don’t believe him.

I want to believe that I am beautiful.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. 5kidswdisabilities
    Feb 14, 2010 @ 11:37:05

    You ARE beautiful. You have a beautiful soul and a husband who appreciates your beautiful body. I am the same way…I hate compliments and roll my eyes if someone says something nice. But we should believe others opinions of us before we believe our own because we are prejudiced!!!
    Lindsey Petersen
    http://5kidswdisabilities.wordpress.com

    Reply

  2. insaneheart09
    Feb 14, 2010 @ 15:03:41

    Thank you so much for that. I need to remember this!

    Reply

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