Pessimism Vs. Optimism

“The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious to the rose”

–Kahlil Gibran

I used to be a pessimist in the worst sense.  It was a horrible way to live.  Never having any hope, and always expecting the worst is a horrible mind-set to have.  I would never get excited about anything because I just knew that it would go wrong.  If something went well, I wouldn’t get excited.  Instead I would wait for the next thing to go wrong.

It’s hard to be an optimist when you have had so many bad things happen to you in your life.  You start to believe that you aren’t meant to have good things happen to you.  You start to think that God is laughing at you.  You fall into a pit of despair and depression.  You have urges to just give up.  What’s the point in trying if nothing ever goes right?  What’s the point in caring when you’ll just be disappointed?

I’m starting to migrate away from this belief.  I feel myself becoming more and more optimistic by the day.  I have seen in myself good things happening.  My depression is getting better, and my mental health in general is becoming better.  I am breaking free of this suffocating cocoon that I’ve been enveloped in for the better part of my life.  I am making the necessary changes to make myself happy.

I like to think that now I am an optimistic realist.  I am not so optimistic that I don’t see what truly will and can happen around me and take the bad with the good.  I know I will have breakdowns and I know that I will have bad things happen.  I don’t dwell on those things anymore.  I don’t go through life anymore expecting the worst.  I take it as it comes and don’t allow myself to fall into a depression because of it.

It’s not perfect.  Sometimes I still have those slumps, and I will continue to.  I sometimes have to snap myself out of it, but it’s getting better.

I am no longer afraid of the thorns, and can now see the rose for it’s beauty.

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