Spring is in the Air

It is really beautiful here today.  I think our Winter is finally on it’s way out.  It will be in the 30s today, and will be around 40 by the weekend.  For Wisconsin, that is a heat wave, and very welcomed (at least to me).  I’ve never been one for Winter sports, and I really loathe having to go outside when it’s cold.

I was born in Texas, and although I have been living up here for 20+ years, I still haven’t gotten used to the six months of cold weather.  I don’t look forward to it at all.  The older I get, the more it takes it’s toll on me.  I have the worst skin for this type of weather, and no matter what I do, it still cracks and bleeds for half the year.  It’s torturous and stops me from doing some of the things I love.  It’s pretty sad that I can’t even take a hot bath without being in agony.  That’s one of my favorite ways to relax.

So yes, I love Spring.  I look forward to it from the first snowflake in the fall.  I have always had this feeling when Winter starts to worm it’s way in.  It’s like a heavy blanket that stays on me until I start seeing the first signs of Spring.  I get more depressed in the Winter, which is true for a lot of people.

Spring is a sign of rebirth.  The season is changing, beautiful things are growing and the sun feels warm on the skin.  I feel so much happier, lighter and more open to change.

I have to make the changes that I have been discussing throughout my blog.  I need to lose 40 pounds.  I need to quit smoking (FOR GOOD THIS TIME).  I need to eat healthier all the time, not just sporadically.  And I need to do all of this to help me start gaining back my self-esteem.  That is my biggest hurdle in my healing right now.  I can make all the progress in the world, but if I still feel ugly and hate myself, it’s all for naught.

I am going to use my love for Spring to be my driving force behind my lifestyle changes.  I need to muster up more willpower than I ever have before.  I need to channel my newly found optimism.  I can do this, I will do this.  I have to look forward to when I will be the woman I want to be.

I will be beautiful and healthy one day.  Hopefully that day will come sooner than later.

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