Sleeplessness Through Worry

I can’t sleep again.  I keep waking up over and over again for no reason, every night.  I’m at my wits end.  I thought it might be my bed since we moved into the new apartment, but that’s not it.  I thought I might be waking up because of noises in the apartment, but that’s not it either.

I’m starting to think that it is purely psychological.  I do have a lot on my mind.  Finances are really tight, and I just got a ton of work in addition to my normal duties dumped on me at my job.

Everyone is stressed out at work because of a new division being instated, but no additional help.  It makes for a lot of anxiety at a place that I spend a third of my time.  Hopefully once the new division is fully set up and functioning the way it’s supposed to, things will get better at work.  Right now though, I just want to pull my hair out.

Our finances are looking rough, but I’m hoping that with all the cutbacks we are making, things will start to look up soon.  It’s stressful when the car needs new tires, a cat needs to be fixed and eye and dental appointments are required all around.  You start to wonder where the hell you are going to come up with the cash.

So, I lay in bed for hours every night, just me and my worries.  When I finally am able to fall asleep, I get so worried that I am going to sleep through the alarm that I wake up to look at the clock every hour at least.  When it’s time to get  up and get ready for work, I am just as tired as when I went to bed.

It’s really not good for my health, and I know this,  but it’s hard.  I’ve never been one to be able to shut my mind off when I don’t have anything to occupy it, as much as I try.  I wish I could.  It would be such a wonderful thing.

I guess at this point, I’ll just deal with the lack of sleep and hope that when I finally hit exhaustion, I’ll embrace it.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. wordsweneversaid
    Mar 09, 2010 @ 09:02:29

    You are going to think I am a nutbar in a minute – but stay with me…?

    Take a course.

    ‘What!!! – I am already having trouble sleeping and you want me to take on more work!!?’

    *breath*

    There are so many courses out there that you can take online – things that you may have overlooked in your regular course of study that are worth a chance now?

    Ways to connect from the comfort of your home – ways to accomplish goals and gain skills that you will always hold inside you and know are ‘yours’.

    It should have nothing to do with any job you have now – maybe more to do with things you have always wanted to know more about but were discouraged from studying for all the wrong reasons (gender bias, public opinion, peer pressure – that sort of thing)

    Umm – *smile*

    I think you would do well and feel very good to have that special knowledge and experience that was just ‘yours’.

    Be well,
    M.L.

    Reply

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