Taking Control

“You cannot control other people, you can only control how you react to what other people do”


This is a mantra that I try and live by.

There are so many immature, idiotic people in the world.  There are also hurtful and ignorant people out there who have no clue how they affect people around them.  There are also the actively malignant people who enjoy seeing people squirm.  If you remember this saying whenever you are forced to deal with them, it can make it easier.

It took me a long time to realize this.  I used to get so upset by what people said to me or how they treated me, but no longer.  It takes a lot of mental energy to let these things bother you.  To sit and stew about these things and let them consume your thoughts is a huge load to carry.

I used to worry about what every single person thought of me, whether they were important to my life or not.  I used to become devastated when someone would say  something sharp to me or give me a funny look.  I used to live my life not how I wanted to, but how I could please the most people and offend the least.

When you get consumed in what other people think and do, your life becomes a shell of what your potential is.  When you start not worrying about other people and start analyzing your reactions to other people, you become free.

If someone says something hurtful to me, I used to fall into a depression.  Now, I simply move forward to the next moment in my life.  After a brief analysis on whether or not I need to change something so the situation doesn’t happen again, I move on.

It’s the same way when someone does something that affects me.  I try to react appropriately and not harbor it until it festers into anger, resentment and fear.

It’s made my life a lot easier, to be honest.  I still lapse into those feelings of worthlessness and depression from time to time when this happens, but overall, things are much better.

I started to realize that I don’t control anyone around me and there is no use in trying.  You’d have to be a pretty perfect person to please everyone and offend no one.  Even if you were just that, there’d still be a jerk out there ready to drag you down.

You simply can’t let it, and that’s totally within your control.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lilah & Amelia
    Mar 09, 2010 @ 21:45:24

    Good for you! What a wonderful realization to come to, and way to live by. This reminds me of a quote that is one of *my* mantras: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
    Keep taking care of yourself! 🙂


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