Snakes Bite

With the help of my husband, I’ve had an amazing realization.

We had a long talk the other night, and he told me some things that really made my head spin.  He has been through so much with me.  He has a more objective opinion about what I’ve been through because he is an outside observer.

He told me that he thinks my mother was naïve, and my father, highly intelligent.  In essence, he was a manipulative narcissist, and through his manipulations, was able to make my mother fall in love with him.  A highly intelligent narcissist is dangerous because they are cunning and charming at the same time.

Now, I have my mother on such a high pedestal that it was hard to hear that she might have been naïve.  How can someone so perfect …not be?  The more I turn my husband’s words around in my mind, the more the entire scenario makes sense.  More and more, the memories make sense.

The Snake seduced the Goddess.

My mother was an amazing, beautiful woman.  She was the most wonderful mother.  She fell for a handsome devil, quite literally.

The fact of the matter is that my mother was just another puzzle piece in the perfect life my father was creating for himself.  When she got sick, he had no more use for her.

I’ve been told by reputable sources that he was in fact cheating on her in her last years, which makes so much sense that I can’t even stand it.  He was looking for her replacement.  I have vivid memories of him making out with other women very shortly after she passed away, and I know of at least one time that he had sex with my future step-mother while in the same room with me.

I used to make excuses for why he never contacted me after all these years.  I used to believe that he couldn’t cope with my mother’s death and went insane.  I used to hold a place in my heart for him.  I used to long for a relationship with him.

No more.  That bastard has never given one solitary damn about me, my sister or my mother.  I don’t think he has the capacity to love.  He is evil.  A manipulative narcissist is not someone capable of being a real human being with real emotions.

My heart is now closed to him.  I can now see him for who he really is.  I can now absolutely say that the only good he has ever done in his life is provide the sperm to help bring my sister and I into being.

I’m pretty sure that he didn’t have to try too hard to do that.

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