Sobriety With Anxiety

I’m very anxious today.

I’ve decided that I need to quit caffeine too because I am so jittery, and have been for weeks.  I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin, and sitting in an office chair all day is making me insane.  I think it’s because I have been drinking A LOT more water lately, so when I do drink a soda, it affects me that much more.  It’s rather suckish.

My mindset is better than ever when it comes to sobriety.  I really want to do this, and can see the health benefits that will come with living a sober life.  I know I will lose weight and not feel so damn exhausted all the time.  I will have a lot more energy, and I’m really looking forward to that because I want to start working out.

I have decided to keep a sobriety journal, and take it one day at a time.  At this point, when I think about never drinking again, I get a bit panicky and apprehensive.  I think if I take it day by day and go to AA for support, I’m more confident that I can do it.

Now all I have to do is deal with my social anxiety.  The thought of going to a meeting with a bunch of people I haven’t met really terrifies me.  I know that they have all been in the same position I am in, and will be supportive, but I can’t get past this.  I imagine them all staring at me and judging me for being there anyway.  I imagine them thinking awful thoughts about me, and wishing I would go away.  It’s ridiculous, and logically I know that, but I can’t ignore the way my body and mind reacts with these thoughts.

It’s definitely something that I need to work on.  If I don’t get ahold of my anxiety, then I won’t be able to take advantage of the best means to get help.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. hellythushtra
    Jun 25, 2010 @ 15:39:16

    Get yourself some Hemp Protein Powder. It will clear all the crap out of your body and help with the detox process. I can’t remember, but I think I might have talked to you about that on ENA. So If I sound redundant, sorry.

    I’ve cut back about 90% of my drinking… but I am considering quitting altogether. I know you can do it.

    I just want to say, that painting is one of my girlfriend’s favorite paintings. The first time she went home to Oslo with me I took her to the gallery to see it.

    Reply

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