More Sobriety and Sleeplessness

“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion . . . . I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”

–Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Yes, I am like a broken record, but hey, if nothing else, this blog is for me to record my road to recovery, and it is what it is.

Not a lot to report today except that I am 5 days sober now.  I can’t wait until I’m 55 days sober.  That’s a dizzying thought.

I’m still not sleeping well.  I took a sleeping pill last night, and was incredibly exhausted, yet I kept waking up.  I had more disturbing dreams too.

Keeping a sleep journal isn’t practical because I don’t remember my dreams way more often than I do.  Usually I can hold onto a small tendril of the dream for a little while, but as the day goes on, even that fades away.  I think it’s a good thing I don’t remember them because after the dream I had about my cat, I couldn’t stop thinking about it for a couple days.

I’m trying not to think so much about how much I am NOT sleeping, but it’s aggravating.  It should be simple, right?  I should be able to fall into bed utterly exhausted at the end of the night, and sleep like a baby.  I wish this were the case.

I guess, until I am sleeping well, I will deal.  I just wish it would happen sooner than later.

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