Now Commencing Zombie-mode

Day 12 sober.

Enough is enough.  These sleep issues are making me crazy.  I haven’t had a good night’s sleep for so long that I forgot what it’s like.

I’ve been taking sleeping pills every night, to no avail.  I’m still waking up multiple times a night, and having disturbing dreams.  I hate sounding like a broken record, but damn.  This is getting ridiculous.

I find myself irritated all the time, like a raw nerve.  Even the smallest of things can set me off, and I have to really watch myself so I don’t say something stupid and get myself into trouble.  My relationships are becoming a bit strained because I don’t have any patience, and I’m on edge all the time.  I find myself clenching my jaw so badly that it is sore.  I have to take deep breaths, just to keep myself calm.

I don’t trust myself to drive because I am zoning out without realizing it, and have to constantly pull my mind back to focus on what I’m doing.  Work is becoming almost impossible.  It would be nice to take a leave of absence until I get this taken care of, but alas, that is not possible.

I’ll keep trudging on, but I have to be more aware of how this is affecting me.  Hyper-awareness is hard to attain when you aren’t sleeping well, but it must be done.  I can’t let my world implode on me because I can’t sleep.

Looks like I might need to make a call to my doctor.  I’m not sure I can lick this without some outside help.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. kate1975
    Aug 20, 2010 @ 13:54:41


    Outside help is good. I hope you can get a hand in this process. You deserve to get some help. I know how hard it is to try to cope with life without sleep and trying to do healing work and live my life.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.



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