Now Commencing Zombie-mode

Day 12 sober.

Enough is enough.  These sleep issues are making me crazy.  I haven’t had a good night’s sleep for so long that I forgot what it’s like.

I’ve been taking sleeping pills every night, to no avail.  I’m still waking up multiple times a night, and having disturbing dreams.  I hate sounding like a broken record, but damn.  This is getting ridiculous.

I find myself irritated all the time, like a raw nerve.  Even the smallest of things can set me off, and I have to really watch myself so I don’t say something stupid and get myself into trouble.  My relationships are becoming a bit strained because I don’t have any patience, and I’m on edge all the time.  I find myself clenching my jaw so badly that it is sore.  I have to take deep breaths, just to keep myself calm.

I don’t trust myself to drive because I am zoning out without realizing it, and have to constantly pull my mind back to focus on what I’m doing.  Work is becoming almost impossible.  It would be nice to take a leave of absence until I get this taken care of, but alas, that is not possible.

I’ll keep trudging on, but I have to be more aware of how this is affecting me.  Hyper-awareness is hard to attain when you aren’t sleeping well, but it must be done.  I can’t let my world implode on me because I can’t sleep.

Looks like I might need to make a call to my doctor.  I’m not sure I can lick this without some outside help.

Advertisements

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. kate1975
    Aug 20, 2010 @ 13:54:41

    Hi,

    Outside help is good. I hope you can get a hand in this process. You deserve to get some help. I know how hard it is to try to cope with life without sleep and trying to do healing work and live my life.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: