Elephants and Anxiety

“You can eat an elephant – one bite at a time.” -Unknown

The sleeplessness continues, but I’m on day 18 of sobriety.  I am very happy about that.  I’m still not craving the alcohol,  and I’m keeping myself very occupied.

I did a lot of research on alcohol withdrawal symptoms, and it does appear that insomnia is one of them.   Since it’s the only one I have thus far, I think I’m doing fairly well.  I am getting another prescription for Ambien, and hopefully I will start sleeping soon.

I am having a lot of anxiety lately.  I was doing really well with it for quite awhile, but I’ve been having a lot of things come at me at once, and I’m having a hard time putting it all into perspective.

My daughter starts school next week, so there is the worries about supplies, clothes, and getting everything in order.  She’s going to a new school this year, and riding the bus for the first time.  This means I have to get her into her orientation and make sure everything is set up with the bus driver.  She’s also moving up to a new group in her youth group, which requires a new uniform t-shirt and dues.

My husband is standing up in a wedding this weekend, so there’s lots to prepare for that way.  I’m obviously going to the wedding too, so there’s preparations for myself as well.  I have nothing to wear, and I have to get the gift.

My uncle who passed away would have been 44 yesterday.  His birthday has opened up wounds that had just begun to heal.  I had been doing really well with his passing, and moving on, but now it all feels fresh again.

I’m a neat freak, and due to my insomnia, I have not been able to keep the house in tip-top shape like I normally do.  My husband is working lots of overtime, so is not able to either.  This has been driving me crazy.  I take pride in a clean house, but I need to let it go, at least for now.  The world won’t end if the house isn’t spotless.

So, yes, I will eat the elephant one bite at a time.  I find that making lists and crossing off what I have done helps a lot.  I try to do a couple things a day so I don’t feel so overwhelmed.

Some “me” time for a few minutes a day is my sanity right now.

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