The Daunting Climb

I am going to make the necessary calls to find a therapist this afternoon.  I have the afternoon off work for a dreaded medical appointment, so I will have time to make some phone calls.  It’s hard in my little town to find a therapist who will work with my schedule, but I have to try.

I can no longer continue on this recovery process on my own.  I will obviously continue to do my self-work, but I need some outside guidance.  There’s so much here, and it’s crushing.  I am proud of myself that I was able to finally get to the core of my issues.  After all, that’s what this process has been about so far.  Rewiring my brain and overcoming these maladaptive personality traits has been my overall focus.  I have a name for what is wrong with me, and it seems to make it that much more daunting.

Thanks to my friend Faith over at Blooming Lotus (Thanks Faith!), I have been working on a bible study by Beth Moore called Breaking Free.  I have been working on it a few weeks now, and it’s really eye-opening just how hindered I am by my past traumas.  I really am a slave to them, and have been for so long.  All of these issues that I have stemming from my abuse hold me captive from having a fulfilling life.  Sure, I am able to function well enough, and I’m happy most times, but I’m in turmoil all the time.

My journey is still young.  I have to keep telling myself that instead of being disheartened or depressed, I should be ecstatic that I’m breaking through the barriers that I’ve had for so long.  I know that I am becoming a healthier person everyday.  I break little terrible patterns all the time.  I think what is most daunting is the scope of what I still need to work on.  There’s just so much there.  It’s like looking up at Mt. Everest from the base and getting dizzy at the thought of the climb.

My freedom is waiting for me at the top.  I just have to have the strength to get there.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. insurance document holder
    Oct 03, 2010 @ 02:08:24

    Great read! I want you to follow up to this topic..



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