I’ve been in crisis-mode since leaving the dentist yesterday. We all hate going to the dentist, and I did this time especially because I knew that there had to be some damage to my teeth.
Boy, was I right.
All of my molars have stress fractures from clenching my jaw. I will lose my molars if I don’t stop clenching my teeth.
I’m clenching my jaw because I’m so damn anxious all the time. So now, I am not only damaging my mental well-being, but I am also physically damaging myself. I really like to eat all kinds of foods, so this is a grim prospect. I now have to be consciously aware to keep my teeth from touching. I clench my jaw all the time. I clench it harder when I’m especially anxious. This means that I need to get on some anxiety meds to help me chill out.
I keep putting off calling my doctor. I don’t want to have to go into an appointment with her and explain why I need to be medicated. How do I explain to someone whose been treating me for years, that I’ve been hiding the fact that I’m a basket case from her? I know she would hear me out, but I’m afraid that she won’t believe me, and I’ll walk out of there with no help. Same place I am now, just without hope. One can’t survive without the hope that things will get better. I’m also leery about mood-altering medications since taking Effexor. The withdrawals from going off that almost killed me.
So, I am stuck in this limbo of needing help really bad, yet I’m terrified to ask for it.
That makes me more anxious. Le sigh…